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馮友 | 1st Apr 2009, 11:52 | 閒聊吹水 | (1575 Reads)

The War At Home
March 27th, 2009

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.

Chip Tsao is a best-selling author and columnist. A former reporter for the BBC, his columns have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others. 

一直不喜歡陶傑,並非今天開始。如果古德明是「有才無品」,陶傑就是「無才無品」。他們笑稱某些人為「戲子」,我都可以指他們是「文人」,大家都是半斤八兩。

既然是「自稱」才子,靠某位大後台捧上來,自然不是實材實料。說得難聽一點,一直等他「仆街」的日子。諸君勿說我在「爆粗」,「仆街」只是狀況描述,「仆跌落街」,殊非粗言。如果此為粗言,那末以後小說中就再沒有人「仆跌落街」,顯然少了一點樂趣。 

事先聲明,鄙人是英文白痴。「自稱」才子的陶先生寫出來的英文,半隻字都看不懂。不過做人呀,尤其是文人,不外三途:詞章、考據、義理。陶「偽」才子詞章妙絕,不過考據半桶水,義理更是狗屁不通。只不過是寫了些莫測高深的文字,用上了諷刺的文筆,就像是神的一般。要是認真讀多點書,便只會啞然失笑。竹林七賢赤身裸體,是裸得有道理,是對社會的反控,是出於自發的行動。某淫賤黎派人偷拍春光照,事主既沒有向大眾赤裸的意願,更談不上甚麼為世控訴的道理。他們卻可以把兩件風牛馬不相及的事扯在一起,引為美談。想當年古德明刺黃霑無人品,看來陶某人也是差不多。收了某人的錢,就要做一條好狗,搖尾汪汪,好好把自家的格子擦亮,甚至幫主人擦鞋,把黑鞋擦成白鞋。兩位無品才子常常笑人是戲子,他們也是五十步笑百步,還不是文人一個?

陶傑昨日回應時表示,對讀者的反應「有少少驚訝」,認為文章屬「怪論風格」,讀者千萬別那麼認真和緊張,同時不要低估香港僱主的智慧。

http://news.sina.com.hk/cgi-bin/nw/show.cgi/2/1/1/1084708/1.html) 

事件快升級成國際政治,甚至影響中菲外交,陶某人也只是「有少少驚訝」。這也難怪,任誰也知道他是甚麼派別,為何這次「忽然愛國」,當然另有所圖。

「怪論風格」,也要看有多怪。口出狂言不是問題,只要說的是真理,那怕眾人皆醉我獨醒,笑罵由他任君去。然而說的話完全是歪理,就肯定好有問題。照陶某人的高見,當年大批中國人去美國掘金開礦,戰時中國婦女又被日軍抓去當慰安婦……啊!原來陶才子是曲筆,暗刺中國是「苦力國家」「慰安婦國家」,所以斷不能以下犯上,冒犯米飯班主的美國及日本!瞧!這才似是陶某人的「怪論」。

至今斯人仍在「詭辯」,甚麼「菲律賓是天主教國家,在天主面前人人均是上主的僕人」。如果大家都是僕人,為什麼你可以當菲傭Louisa的主人?甚至說中菲交戰時脅為人質?要知道《聖經》說過,心中想過的,即使未行動,也是做了。望見美女動了邪念,沒有下手也是非禮。現在陶某人只是筆隨心生,寫了出來,縱然不實行,也應當有做過了吧!更好笑是引用俗語「施比受更有福」,菲律賓傭工服務港人,所以她們是上等人,港人是下等人。

真是有夠狗奴才的嘴臉。

菲傭Louisa是上等人,陶某人是下等人,煩請速速回家做家務,把每月的人工支給Louisa,把她當成太上皇。

……政 治 上 , 英 國 治 港 時 黃 霑 戟 指 痛 斥 中 共 , 英 國 棄 港 前 黃 霑 拜 舞 歌 頌 中 共 。…… 

http://teddyso.solve-host.com/Materials/Chinese/HongKong/Kuo.html#20041211) 

想當年「古一味」以黃老先生「變臉」一事刺他沒品,今天要是鄙人有幸在報章佔一佔格子,同樣可以這樣寫:

……這次事件中,發表文章時的陶傑狂妄自大訓示菲國為傭僕之國,斷不能以下犯上冒犯米飯班主。事件鬧成國際外交風波後陶傑說「施比受更為有福」,菲傭為港人服務,她們是上等人而香港人是下等人。……

有後台真好。

有靠山真好。

有勢力真好。

大家都是「變臉」。

姓黃的死後還要被人扯出來細數大堆「莫須有」罪名鞭屍,姓陶的仍坐享「才子」美名繼續跨媒體大發誑言。 

姓古也好姓陶也好,終歸只是「文人」罷了,原諒他們吧。因為他們所說的所做的,都不自知是錯的。正如羅范椒芬所說:

……想起教院事件,她說「最不開心是聆訊時期,我覺得很多是無中生有,言者無心,但聽者有意,很多這類問題帶出來……如果當時我真是干預學術自由,為什麼從來沒有人說給我聽,或指出『你這樣說不正確』」。……

http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/090329/4/bey1.html) 

瞧!香港上下,即使外表是成年人,心智還是小孩子。要是沒有人說「你做錯了」,他們也不會「吾日三省吾身」,反思一下自己的行為有沒有問題。甚至被人力斥「你錯了」,也可以視而不見聽而不聞,甚或反說自己沒有錯。

香港已經玩完。 


[11] Re: ckmine

其實他有識見,文采也有
但真的無品
只有你給錢他
他就幫你寫一篇


[引用] | 作者 x | 17th Apr 2009 08:58 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[10]

本以為此間遊戲文章,豈知馮兄原來亦正氣非凡,心生敬佩!

馮兄雖然不懂外語,一雙金睛火眼,在其行文間但見妖邪;言論之超卓雄偉,真有與詩書六藝相表裏者。白眼文棍,閣下之氣節風骨,非「文人」之流可得仰望肩項。

今生馮友,前世劉伶,信乎哉


[引用] | 作者 阮某 | 9th Apr 2009 13:33 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[9]

hi all, first time posting here

I actually like 陶傑 lol...I followed his every article in ming pao, but I seldom read his articles after he left that newspaper

He simply crosses the line this time. I am a chinese and I don't mind his sarcasms against chinese at all. A lot of his sarcasms against chinese are funny, and they actually have some backgrounds to support it. He may take those phenomenons way out of context, but sarcasms won't work if there aren't any facts to support it, and those facts are there

so I read his article, think about those "dark thing" he said about chinese..if that "dark thing" is kind of true, I will pay attention to it..if not, I will just laugh about it

Of course, this time he takes advantage of other nations to make sarcasm against chinese is risky and it completely backfires..I never treat him as 才子, but I will continue to read his article (if I have the chance) and check out his sarcasm XD


[引用] | 作者 justavisitor | 6th Apr 2009 23:20 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[8]

這個「忽然愛國」還真是有夠好笑
其他「愛國之士」平時對釣魚台大吼大叫。這下陶「才子」搞出事來,卻又萬籟無聲,裝出一乎事不關己的架子。
果然,「愛國」要愛得有價值才敢去愛。

初稻
[引用] | 作者 初稻 | 4th Apr 2009 23:02 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[7] 【一種人…】

當一種人眼底裡只有$$$的影像而心底裡面同樣只有$$$符號的價值觀的時候,其活著就是為了$$$,生命就是被這幾個符號來操控、存歿的關鍵 ; 當一種人﹝他﹞更成為城中“才子”,筆膽相照射,舞文弄墨的時候,以撩陰腿、挖眼鎖喉,施冷箭的狠勁招式,“恐襲”﹝或稱下流手法﹞對手。以偏概全,顛倒是非,或單單打打,或冷嘲熱諷,便成為“才子” 行文落墨的手法去取悅其受眾,$$$如滾滾長江水碌落黎,淹Q死都嫌未夠皮。

夢裡夢囈也想著為了黃金冒險,口裡不停啃嚼那些樓上血燕,滿以為嘴臉帶著三分笑七分嬌惹人憐愛﹝但係知唔知真惡啃﹞。呼奴喝婢聚眾山頭,自稱光明…定黑暗呢,真的光明……﹝我﹞頂!!!

奴性死相 : 一邊啖著那份摯愛的日寇「白痴戀人」餅食,自慚形穢 ; 另一邊手起筆落,如老雞啄米﹝死命拼﹞,什麼萬聖節堅、勁,什麼盂蘭節屎,來過南瓜較涼瓜切磋對比…嘩嘩嘩…九唔搭八。阿﹝不知﹞所謂“才子”,殺人不過頭點地,為販文者爬格仔求兩餐一篤胡吹一頓,求戀期填滿格仔便是 ; 什麼什麼聖誕節,洋人下訂單訂聖誕飾物令國內工人每日有US$ 1 per day功不可沒,廢話連篇la。對 !!! 一個人能豁開了,能夠寫得出「冤枉南京」的所謂奇才,還有什麼做不出呢 !!!真的見怪不怪,奇怪自敗,吃蘋果、看三色、聽x台,加上廣告如雪花紛飛,冷嘲熱諷亦成賣點,$$$就垂手可得easy 執啦喂,阿“才子” !!!


[引用] | 作者 hatejap | 2nd Apr 2009 15:19 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[6] 【含沙射影】

屠夫又玩借艇割禾,借人裙頭來遮自己胯下短小之雕蟲小技 ; 又想以一石二鳥,射人又射馬。這趟不幸射人不成遭馬踏,閹割人家不得卻最後自閹埋尾。大人大者ge屠夫今次學人玩泥沙,目的以南沙議題來反諷土共無能,但行文卻all尿乏力,到最後搞到自己成口沙要嘔泡 ; 豬二成又想用腳內檔曲線垢國,卻變成香蕉射球,射錯龍門柱反彈,令自己食波餅。

臨難母狗免呀契大走得more,識得含x忍沙lump BOR!屠夫,坦白向菲仔說明自己只是含沙射影,影射東西南沙ge C 國人而已 ; 你們只是屠夫腳底下墊腳石來譏諷C國而不是P國嗎?今渾屠夫食C食著沙,滿嘴沙石,含x如苦,慘x到慘玻璃。自作……梗係自受LA,屎棍頭。

獵犬終須山上喪
瘋子難免陣前狂
淫才必使淫奸道
賤物豈能遁匿藏

一篤狗屎此中都係一篤狗屎,臭氣沖天 ; 一篤「恥中」狗屎,難言香溺,它都仍然係一篤臭名遠播狗屎。一條臭嘴窩囊廢柴都係廢柴,廢則該丟 ; 一條「恥中」臭嘴窩囊廢柴,都只不過係自「濁」不可耐廢柴,人人可丟之!


[引用] | 作者 hatejap | 2nd Apr 2009 12:02 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[5] Re: __路過

這種怪大叔真的枉為(自稱)"才子",其實是"蠢材之子"才對,菲律賓人都是人,都有自尊的~~~~~~!!!!!!

香港已經玩完,是真的......

九巴共和國--愛暉比義仁
[引用] | 作者 九巴共和國--愛暉比義仁 | 2nd Apr 2009 12:00 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[4]

呢D'才子', 唔驚有人鬧, 最驚冇人睇, 理佢做乜丫

豬
[引用] | 作者 | 1st Apr 2009 22:48 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[3]

也沒甚麼抽不抽水的,反正陶傑早已說明,自己是賣文的,人家喜歡看甚麼他就賣甚麼。所以對於馮友的批評,他應該會很受落。


[引用] | 作者 方潤 | 1st Apr 2009 20:26 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[2]

其實,個人一向不太欣賞他的作品,以篇論篇,就算以怪論計,這篇亦毫不幽默

素來覺得,文人,說穿也是個職業,何必要求或吹捧太高

shadowzo
[引用] | 作者 shadowzo | 1st Apr 2009 19:22 | [舉報垃圾留言]

[1]

雖然見陶傑仆街真係心涼,不過都唔好咁張揚啦,唔係好易會比人話你係度抽緊陶傑水...


[引用] | 作者 雨仔 | 1st Apr 2009 13:19 | [舉報垃圾留言]